When co-workers find old photos…

Today a co-worker found this article of me in Time Magazine and the accompanying photo rapidly spread around the office:

It then wasn’t long before an email went out to a lot of people with the photo and accompanying challenge:

Okay folks! Here’s your chance!! Whoever can come up with the best caption for this photo WINS:

$14 Cold. Hard. Cash
A blank CD
A brand new tube of Studio Line Gel
An authentic one of a kind autographed photo from Matt Goyer himself!

And I’m sure you’re wondering about the replies the email got:

• This contest is too easy. I can already feel the gel in my hair…
• Upcoming star from Balliwood !!
• JC Chazez from N’Sync. A photo of his profits after his first solo album and the only CD sold.
• Verbatim CD-R prices, circa 1992.
• Hey baby, whadaya say you and me hit up the BK lounge for some burgers….I got the new Boyz to Men CD, come on…maybe after that we can watch Dawson’s Creek….my mom’s not home!
• I’m looking for 30 people who want to make big $$$$$ in their spare time for LOSING WEIGHT! If you can fit your torso through this CD, I have over FOURTEEN BIG ONES FOR YOU! Yes, you heard right, you can earn money AND lose weight in the privacy of your own home. How would you like to earn one, two, or even FIVE DOLLARS EVERY DAY just for not eating! Help your friends lose weight and earn even more money!! UNLIMITED INCOME POTENTIAL!!! WORK FROM HOME!!! FIRE YOUR BOSS!!!
• BTW, revision to the prize…the Studio gel is actually half full, and not brand new.
• I’m in Time Magazine BEOOOOOTCH!
• BOP TiGER beat 2006: December Feature Article: Teen Hunk, Matt Goyer who starred as Kirk Cameron’s replacement in 2006 ‘Growing Pains’ speaks publicly about his failed music career, selling his body in Hollywood and his decision to join Redfin. “ Tom Cruise paid me to keep our relations private… I felt so ashamed…” – Matt Goyer
• After years of evading the authorities Matt Goyer has been spotted lurking through the halls of Redfin. Reported to us by by one of his co-worker who shall remain nameless to secure their safety. Matt Goyer is wanted for the ebezzalment of old senior citizen women. He preys upon them with his looks and promise of romance. Help us capture this fugative. Call NOW! For the reward of $14. Please do not approach him yourself he may be armed and dangerous.
• GQ called – they want their photo back. You have to pay them for the rights to distribute it around the office.

Thanks god it wasn’t a Photoshop contest or else I’m sure this would have been a tame entry:

So yes, those slightly embarrassing photos of you will one day come back to haunt you. I’m just glad they didn’t get their hands on this photo: