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Larry Smith Lingo & Prof Quotes

Back by popular demand. Larry Smith lingo:

  • I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen; we're finishing this course come hell or heart attack
  • Mr. Disney is getting deader and deader.
  • Big books are hard to steal.
  • You'd have to be quite desperate to go to Guelph.
  • If you engineers didn't spend so much time at the Bomber, the (overhead) screen would just know I wanted it to go down.
  • You mathies might protest against the purity of this, but the constant K is not really a constant, it varies a bit.
  • You can go to the Bank of Canada website and look up these numbers [about forms of money]. It's more fun than visiting a porno site.
  • Steal our gold? Gag on it you will! ... sounds a bit like Yoda.
  • Don't worry. I'm going to criticize other professions too. I'm an equal-opportunity criticizer.
  • People who have REAL lives get hundreds of email messages a day. How do I know you're a real person? When I ask you how it's going and you say: Damn email's driving me crazy! Yes! You've reached manhood!
  • The fashion industry is driven by diminishing utility. Don't look at me, you dopey males, like 'only the women do that.'
  • This evening the universe and my course are in perfect sync!
  • [Reffering to Bill Gate's marketing strategies] "Want a PC? I come with it! Buahahahaha"
  • If you use your professional credentials, I will use Einstein on you!
  • Maybe I should fall down and break my neck. That would be entertaining.
  • [On where to find him next term] "DC 1351. I don't have a life any more.
  • [On why he is so tired he can't even speak coherent sentences] "Whatever. Put the words in the right order".
  • Masturbation is merely the act of making love to the one you love best.
  • That's why I like tormenting the young.
  • I'm a legend in my own mind.
  • [KFC USA vs KFC CA] "They still fry the damn chicken to death."
  • Then I get to eat with my hands as God intended.
  • One day I will stack up a pile of Chicken McNuggets and light them on fire in the store I swear to God.
  • [looks under student's desk] "Sorry, I just had to check things out.
  • They see the smell of profit.
  • Rock the boat! Don't tweak!
  • Radical means you're at war with society.
  • In a tornado, even turkeys can fly.
  • You know that somewhere, someone is trying to touch you soul -- or sell you something (Larry on the crackberry)
  • Beware, beware, danger there lurks. Warning, warning, run in the other direction...
  • Now what does the herd conclude? Doubling is good. (analysis of herd mentality, aka the stock market)
  • I have something humanity wants!
  • You engineers you!
  • Save me from hypocrisy, it makes me twitch more than stupidity does.
  • That is an argument of limited coherence.
  • Quite rightly, you should look bamboozled.
  • Squashing the brains of the little pup-PIES!
  • Deduce rather brilliantly that ...
  • English is under siege!
  • Knowing about this defines you as a part of the elite.
  • Talking with your friends at the bomber.
  • There is no romance in your souls.
  • I will take it all and I will love it!
  • My spies are everywhere ...
  • When you talk about me with your friends at the bomber ...
  • I am your Trusty Instructor
  • Oh my heart be still!
  • You Canadians you . . . you half-frozen people!
  • Spooky Spooky Spooky!
  • Americans know of only two countries America and Not-America.
  • Warning Warning, Danger Danger!
  • Don't look at me as if I'm a Zen Buddhist philosopher!
  • Why are gas prices rising? Because nast people in Alberta hate you!
  • Stupid roommate, come!
  • A person who can see in the land of the blind will be king
  • If you don't wanna play with the adults stay home
  • Average people scamper
  • MBA's are drivern about what the #'s say. Without the #'s they're bambi.
  • Consumers don't know what they want
  • Consumers are dippy
  • (In regards to Jurassic Park 2), ...would have like to have seen the kids being eaten
  • You've arrived when you've got tax problems
  • If you're not innovative, you won't be making a lot of money
  • As our hero Lord Keynes would say, ...
  • Some of you out there may possess collector's editions of my old notes ...
  • This concludes the weekly briefing. (Not funny, just nostalgic.)
  • I ask you, Gentle People, would your trusty instructor lie to you?
  • You know your investment strategy is coming unglued when you're buying those 'collector plates'.
  • (about first-time cottagers opening the doors on the spring for the first time) They say 'Oh my God, it looks like a dead squirrel--what do I do?' Well, either throw it out or barbeque it, but do SOMETHING!
  • I do NOT care if I can buy underwear on the Internet!
  • I wonder where she [Buffy the Vampire Slayer] was in my highschool. . .all my teenage fantasies rolled together.
  • I'm suffering from a lack of oxygen here [due to a cold]. PRETEND I look agitated!
  • Trudeau created the Anti-Inflation Board. And what kind of teeth did he give it? BIG, SHINY ones!
  • There are some goofy rites of passage in Canada. People are 'rolling up the rim', so it must be spring!
  • I'm on so much [cold] medication that I've lost all ability to censor myself!
  • I don't need to impress you, I impress myself
  • stupid dumb globe and sickly stunted mail
  • Anonymity is your friend. Hmmm.. If someone adds an item to this list without knowing who "Larry" is... Is this still a list of Larryisms?
  • For the moment, ride the tiger.
Submissions from: Lorne, John, Megan, Mike, Rhonda and Matt from Shad Valley, ECON 101, ECON 102, and ECON 220 at The University of Waterloo.

Quotes also stolen from 'Mathnews.

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© Copyright 2005 Matt Goyer.
Last update: 4/11/2005; 11:12:18 PM.